These are all the things I can never tell you
Because I have the worst timing
And I’m way too late
And honestly you’re better off without me
Life with me is not easy
Life with me is like being trapped on a tiny boat in the middle of the ocean
In a thunderstorm
All crashing and thrashing and tidal waves
I exist at the extremes
Skipping all grey area
And dragging everyone under with me
You are better off on dry land

I will never tell you any of this
Because I don’t want you to be tempted to jump in after me
I don’t want you to drown
But I am self-indulgent
So I will tell it to strangers
I will shout to a room of unfamiliar faces
That I can’t stop thinking about you
…******* it
I cannot stop thinking about you
And how I made so many stupid decisions
And how it’s my own **** fault that you drifted away
Because I wanted you to move on
And the moment you did
I became a shipwrecked idiot
With nothing to show for my efforts but a sunburn and a head full of delusions

How did I even get here?

I know I should let it go
Abandon all thoughts of rescue and come up with Plan C
But still, I can’t stop thinking about you
And I wish you would jump in after me