"I sleep in your shirts ya know?" I asked the empty room "I miss how you used to scold me for always taking long showers" I poured myself a glass of jack daniels "you'd be disappointed if you saw me like this" I said between sips "don't worry, I'll be disappointed for both of us." I'm a shell of a woman I used to be "its saturday, I miss how you used to sleep in as I watched tv shows" the tv hasn't been on for weeks "my battery is drained, haven't charged it since your death" saying the word and tasting the melancholy mad me nauseous "I won't throw up, that's not very lady like" I threw the glass against the wall "I think I'll just drink jack out of the bottle instead" I said happily.
"I can still hear myself think so I'll just drink until I can't feel a thing"
"Moma thinks I need therapy if my daddy was here hed just kick the crap out of me instead" daddy issues was part of me growing up and I never wanted to date until I met him, he waited patiently like a puppy and broke down all my walls
"Babe why didn't you talk to me about your problems I loved you even with your depression" guess who's turn it is to be depressed
"I'm not actually mad at you, just mad that there was nothing I could do"
I broke down in tears that night remembering what had happened
My phone ringed as I was having lunch with a friend
"Baby!" A hysterical voice said, it was mom.
"Sorry my phones been actin up, what's wrong"
"You need to come baby girl,I'm so so sorry, I'm at the local hospital" and she hanged up. Me and my girl grabbed our stuff and went
My mom ran to me crying "sorry I'm sorry sorry sorry baby girl"
"Sorry for what?" I was hysterical
She grabbed my hand and pulled me to a hospital room and there he laid full bandages and blood
My knees buckled, it was giving in and my bag slid off my arm like water
I couldn't breath
"Is he" I couldn't get a word out
Now my mom was crying "he jumped off your building room
I couldn't cry, I wasn't expecting this
"He only got a few minutes and his family is on their way but they can't make it so they think he's already dead"
I took his hand and kissed it furiously "no wake up" I closed my eyes "no wake up! Pleas wake up" now my voice was only a whisper


The funeral was depressing. My family and friends have came to terms with my locking myself up in my apartment getting wasted
"Part of grieving" the doctor said
"Its been 4months and she's still doing it" my mom said to her friend as they pushed me under a cold shower and cleaning me, thinking I was unconscious. I heard everything.
"They were each others anchors, keeping each other grounded, one without the other one they would fall apart" my aunt was a writer