I don’t know where to write this
So you won’t find it
I just want you to love me
I’m so angry and sad that my tears are violent
And hot
And hurt
And I want to change
And fix me
And be worth loving

But I don’t blame you
I’m not worth loving

I’m shaking
And breathing heavy
Oh my God what’s happening to me?
My lungs feel like they’re being crushed
My heart feels like it’s trying to rip right out of my chest to escape this dungeon that is me

What have I become

I’m harmless
And harmful
And full of rage
And full of love

You don’t understand
You’ll never understand
And I can’t make you
But I sure wish you could

I want to scream
But I lost all sensation in my spur of bewilderment
It got ****** away in a black hole of existentialism the other day
And I just couldn’t bring myself to run after it

So I let the last tear I cried roll down my cheek
Blinked
Sighed
And fell asleep

*goodnight