Jan 2014
My head feels like Oxford Circle, maybe even Times Square
it is noisy and bright and flashing and frustrating
everyone is walking over each other's bodies
horns are beeping as lights flash and men shout
a child screams a woman swears an Asian man calls me into his shop
artists singers shoppers never slow down
it is exactly like I am screaming but no one can hear
they cannot hear a single thing
and as I type here, probably sixty or more words a minute
my head still races and yet words fail me
there is no word in the entire world
in any dictionary (including the newly stated Urban Dictionary)
to describe what is occurring within me
and that is only my head
as for my heart
it pounds so loud that I can barely fathom
what those around me are saying
match it with the noise in my head
and those close to me wonder why there is
such a blank stare with such busyness in my eyes
rapid eye movements trying to keep up
I wobble and stumble and I can see the voices
they move so slowly around me and it is like
the air and words form and morph
it is like smoke in the air
'o''s being shaped rehearsed and practiced
snapped out by a waving in front of me
all goes numb
the ring has been pulled from the grenade
I can see all the blood spilling out on the floor
I can taste it running down my head
all brain matter splatters in slowed motion
to the floor and I scream in fear
in absolute terror of what is happening
like a bullet hitting my head
silent voices are a shouting a name I once knew
they are not in panic they just want to be heard
they don't seem to concern themselves with the blood
the mess that has fallen out
passing out hitting the slate floor
out cold
resting in a peaceful slumber
my mind is at rest
at least I believe it to be as no thought exists
I hope to never wake.
© Sia Jane
---
I felt a Funeral, in my Brain,
And Mourners to and fro
Kept treading - treading - till it seemed
That Sense was breaking through -
"And when they all were seated,
A Service, like a Drum -
Kept beating - beating - till I thought
My mind was going numb -"
Emily Dickinson
it is noisy and bright and flashing and frustrating
everyone is walking over each other's bodies
horns are beeping as lights flash and men shout
a child screams a woman swears an Asian man calls me into his shop
artists singers shoppers never slow down
it is exactly like I am screaming but no one can hear
they cannot hear a single thing
and as I type here, probably sixty or more words a minute
my head still races and yet words fail me
there is no word in the entire world
in any dictionary (including the newly stated Urban Dictionary)
to describe what is occurring within me
and that is only my head
as for my heart
it pounds so loud that I can barely fathom
what those around me are saying
match it with the noise in my head
and those close to me wonder why there is
such a blank stare with such busyness in my eyes
rapid eye movements trying to keep up
I wobble and stumble and I can see the voices
they move so slowly around me and it is like
the air and words form and morph
it is like smoke in the air
'o''s being shaped rehearsed and practiced
snapped out by a waving in front of me
all goes numb
the ring has been pulled from the grenade
I can see all the blood spilling out on the floor
I can taste it running down my head
all brain matter splatters in slowed motion
to the floor and I scream in fear
in absolute terror of what is happening
like a bullet hitting my head
silent voices are a shouting a name I once knew
they are not in panic they just want to be heard
they don't seem to concern themselves with the blood
the mess that has fallen out
passing out hitting the slate floor
out cold
resting in a peaceful slumber
my mind is at rest
at least I believe it to be as no thought exists
I hope to never wake.
© Sia Jane
---
I felt a Funeral, in my Brain,
And Mourners to and fro
Kept treading - treading - till it seemed
That Sense was breaking through -
"And when they all were seated,
A Service, like a Drum -
Kept beating - beating - till I thought
My mind was going numb -"
Emily Dickinson
