"No. No you absolutely can not go to the store to buy some beer you! you are too young just stay inside and watch some TV beer is for losers no go and make your dad another G&T; during the commercial break"
Feeling thirsty? Want to be liked and respected? want to be fun? life of the party? want to be swarmed by a slew of half naked vaginas with legs? then get yourself a Bud
"Why can't you be happy with what you have? you know we never had much growing up and look at us now a pair of reasonably comfortable adults don't you want to be reasonably comfortable? can't you just be yourself?"
Hey you! Yeah you! what the hell are you just sitting there for? It's a Friday night why aren't you out partying? no invitation. ****. Wait I know why - What's that you are wearing? you don't know!? you need some Polo and some Nike, just do it throw in some brooks brothers don't you want people to think better of you don't be THAT guy in cargo shorts unless you like ******* alone at night and here's some Beats by Dre headphones so you can hear us better Now I no it's pricey, but don't you want to be happy? we've got your happiness right here and it will only cost you your parents' credit card
"We just don't know what's wrong with you why are you in such a rut? get out of bed, go and do something we got you what you asked for why can't you be satisfied? a lenovo 2 in 1? what the hell is a Lenovo 2 in 1? A laptop and a tablet? Why? Oh, you just have to have one well I'm sorry, but money has been tight maybe you should get a job your birthday is right around the corner..."
Look at this cool guy Look at how great his life is you want this. We know you do what you'll need is some more swag just a little bit and some cough syrup, expensive liquor and some *** plus you'll want some ******* how else can you party this hard? Maybe get a gun, or a knife no. Definitely get a gun. A big one that way nobody will say anything to **** your buzz carry that big stick and walk tall cool dude oh yeah, here's a secret for you keep it to yourself alright? women really like being treated like **** we told them to
"What's that? a gun? For what? oh so now you're going to **** yourself? well I'm sorry but we don't do that in this family you'll just have to be ground into submission like everybody else what makes you so special, huh? why do you get to punch out early shut up, keep your head down, do your job, buy some ****, have a family then get your kids started with all the **** you buy. brand name baby clothes and such. now be a good boy and pay your taxes but shush, the TV is on"