What is it to be righteous? To walk in godliness and purity? To hold the heart of God like the bride?
I'll admit I've felt complacent, disbelief, and traitorous. My own efforts alone have not filled my cup. But as I've fallen, as I've grown in mercy and understanding.
I recognize the shell of this existence. The temporal wasting of my eyes. I feel my lovers heart and still I want more. Not from selfish desire but because I've felt the inner working of the spirit!
The everlasting father. The bridegrooms love. And the Kings will for my life. After that, there is emptiness. A quaint shadow in the smile of beauty and passion.
All this rest inside my brain, my reasoning mind ticks with thoughtfulness. Reaching with my words to the universal will untouchable. Touchable. Touch me.
Show me. Move in me. Speak to me in my heart. God I want to know that love again. The infinity of your fire burning away my sin.

And it's odd, as I pull my bible out of its cold box. Plastered to Fear And loathing in Las Vegas. I guess I am afraid of what I'll learn. I can't keep ignoring this turbulent hope. But the promise that you are always with me. Gives me strength.