Lying awake, I never know what to do,
when my mind is strewn with wishes
yet my body's only wish is rest.
It's like I'm testing my ability of control
my ability to stall
nature's course.

Of course I'll give in soon.

Of course.

Soon I'll give myself up to me,
and I'll force myself again to see
unendurable things.

The truth is always the worst.

But first I shall wait,
I shall force and
I shall stall.

and fitfully hope my mind
won't be
too cruel.

dearest mind, please, be kind...

Sleep.