Dec 2013
He tangles his fingers in with mine. The clouds above shifted.
Do you love me?
I play with his fingers. Stretching them out, comparing his to mine. I bite a thin layer of skin inside my cheek.
No. I don't.
He looks away and sighs at the slate blue sky.
~~~~
I rub my hands on the back of my thighs, trying to calm down. What had I done?
He stands in line at Sbarro. Only I would run into him here. I lood around the food court, trying to find someone else to focus on. It'd been almost two months and I was the one falling apart. I stand to leave, failing on trying to find someone.
I push in my chair and try to walk out the door casually, but he ends up in front of me. He passed me as if I was a stranger, but we both knew I wasn't. We both knew that he saw me.
Before I can stop myself and head to my truck, I call out his name. He turns and looks at me without saying anything. I stare, unable to speak now. He turns back, going to his car.
I follow. Just as he sets his sack and cup on the roof, I yell out.
I was lying to myself!
He looks up at me.
What?
I rub my lips together.
When I said I didn't love you, I didn't mean it. I was lying to myself. I've lost a part of me. Now I have no one to lean on to when things are tough. No one to talk to until the sun comes up. There's no one to take your place!
He looks away and clears his throat before facing me again.
I can't sleep at night because I'm thinking about you. I can't hear your voice, I can't touch your lips, I can't have you lying by my side. I was stupid, I was foolish, I was lying to myself.
He rounds the car to me. His breath is warm on my face.
It's a little too late now.
I swallow the lump in my throat.
I'm just trying to figure out where the hell I went wrong.
A small smile, turns his lips up.
You lied to yourself.
He kisses my forehead before leaving me standing in the winter air.
Do you love me?
I play with his fingers. Stretching them out, comparing his to mine. I bite a thin layer of skin inside my cheek.
No. I don't.
He looks away and sighs at the slate blue sky.
~~~~
I rub my hands on the back of my thighs, trying to calm down. What had I done?
He stands in line at Sbarro. Only I would run into him here. I lood around the food court, trying to find someone else to focus on. It'd been almost two months and I was the one falling apart. I stand to leave, failing on trying to find someone.
I push in my chair and try to walk out the door casually, but he ends up in front of me. He passed me as if I was a stranger, but we both knew I wasn't. We both knew that he saw me.
Before I can stop myself and head to my truck, I call out his name. He turns and looks at me without saying anything. I stare, unable to speak now. He turns back, going to his car.
I follow. Just as he sets his sack and cup on the roof, I yell out.
I was lying to myself!
He looks up at me.
What?
I rub my lips together.
When I said I didn't love you, I didn't mean it. I was lying to myself. I've lost a part of me. Now I have no one to lean on to when things are tough. No one to talk to until the sun comes up. There's no one to take your place!
He looks away and clears his throat before facing me again.
I can't sleep at night because I'm thinking about you. I can't hear your voice, I can't touch your lips, I can't have you lying by my side. I was stupid, I was foolish, I was lying to myself.
He rounds the car to me. His breath is warm on my face.
It's a little too late now.
I swallow the lump in my throat.
I'm just trying to figure out where the hell I went wrong.
A small smile, turns his lips up.
You lied to yourself.
He kisses my forehead before leaving me standing in the winter air.
