So I was standing knee deep in a river's stream.
What a beautiful day it's every fisherman's dream.
I cast my line out and let the current work.
And every now and then I'd give my pole a ****.

Suddenly I heard the snapping sound of a stick.
I dropped a load in my pants that felt like a brick.
And there standing not more than 50 yards away.
But a grizzly bear in the sparkling sun of May.

I slowly start to back up planning a retreat.
The last thing I want is to be a midday treat.
Well I moved too fast and splashed in the water.
It certainly appeared I'd be this hungry bear's fodder.

So I hit dry ground and climbed the nearest tree.
I thought to myself, Aha, he'll never find me.
Little did I know a bear's prowess for climbing.
Yes that whimpering sound you hear is me whining.

As the bear got closer I thought of my demise.
I planned to be strong despite my painful cries.
I could hear his growling and his teeth were sharp.
My head started swooning and I heard an angel's harp.

But at the last moment the bear heard a sweet sound
And this caused him to **** his head around.
What could be more interesting than some living meat?
Well a gorgeous female bear in the throes of heat.

He quickly rappelled down that tree in great haste.
It's not often that a bear will let a meal go to waste.
As the couple sauntered off I saw him turn his head.
That look said any other day and you'd be dead.