There are days where I still feel guilt,
for letting my loyalty slip.

For falling,
away from you,
and for him.

These days I look at old photos of us,
and I realize,
I do not love you.
I look and I see someone who cared for me,
who looked after me,
who I spent a year and a half with,
but whom I no longer love.

I know that there was a time where I loved you,
where no one could make me smile quite like you.
No one could make me feel so comfortable,
and no one else occupied my dreams.

We, do not work.

We are too different and you are too controlling.
I would talk about my passions to you and your eyes would glaze over.
I would listen to music with you, but when you sang the words,
there was no fervor.
I would make a joke, and you would be offended.
You would make a joke,
and I would laugh,
even if it wasn't funny.

You would proclaim your love to me in any in every way possible.
In public,
in private,
and I felt secure.
Secure that you would never leave me,
but not that I would never leave you.

You would blame me for all of our problems,
but never out right.
You would make me feel like **** about have a disorder I could not control,
but you would do it with words of love.
You blinded me from all I wanted to accomplish,
cradled me with indifference,
suffocated me with safety.

I slipped,
I fell,
and I could not control it.
When a boy came up to me and fixed my clipped wings,
flew beside me instead of tying me down,
gave me freedom and love and hope.
I fell,
I flew,
I left.