she asked me specifically,
"do you have feelings for him?"
i laughed and said no.
he probably sees me as a daughter,
nothing more.
but, when i went to sleep that night,
i dreamt of him.
some of it was physical,
but, most of it was just us
talking.

talking about physics and
laughing at jokes and then
him accidentally touching my thigh
when laughing and then me looking
up at him, giving him that knowing look
saying, "i want you, all of you."
and then we just... kiss.

i think the sweetest part of the dream
was the moment before our lips touched.
the heat between us, the smile that slipped onto his
lips and the way i leaned to my right.
you could sense the hesitation, but you could
feel the complete desire emanating from the both of us.

i remember waking up that saturday morning.
i touched my lips and still felt the warmth there.
the dream felt so real. and maybe one day it will be.
but, is that what i really want?

i remember him giving me advice:
when i find someone i love, remember to double check and see if he is the one you want to wake up next to in the morning and live the rest of your life with.
i remember picturing mike... not him.
but, mike always be my first love. the one true love that i really could
never ever reach.

i guess since i have to ask if he is what i really want, means that i don't.
i guess i just... i just don't really even know.