My whole life has consisted of whether or not I should be "here"
And when you ask where "here" is
I can't really tell you
I guess "here" is wherever I feel like going
Or maybe its where I'll figure everything out
And sure I could take pills that alter my sense of happiness
Put something into my system that will somehow make me feel better about my situation
But honestly
I can sit "here" and say that I am thankful for my life
And maybe I have more bad days then good ones
But I would never trade my few good days
With many all because of something changing the chemicals in my brain
And I was made to feel pain
But I can choose how I deal with it
And I might not have the best coping techniques
But believe me
I wouldn't give up my life for anything
My parents always looked at me like something was wrong
Not knowing that every fight they had made me strong
I think I rely on my friends too much
But without them
I wouldn't be where I am
So when I say I don't know if I should be "here"
Don't take it as a sign of depression
I've always found that I'm more happy around certain people
And I'm realizing that very soon I won't always be around those people
I'm scared to lose the ones that I love
And no pill will ever replace the feeling I get when I'm with the people that I love
Whenever I think about leaving
I don't think about leaving this earth anymore
I think about leaving the people who have kept me alive
As much as I need to leave
I don't want to leave them behind