Looking around on a sunny day
Barbeque sizzling, music playing
People talking, laughing.
It's a great atmosphere and I think
"This should be food for poetry"

And still I draw a blank
And I wonder why.
Maybe it's because
I don't really feel part of it.
New job, socially awkward.

I go off to the side
To sit down and write
Looking on from the outside, my norm.
I even brought magazines and poetry book
Downstairs to the barbeque.

I guess I created this
Carrying my barrier of books in front of me.
Easier than trying
Easier than feeling awkward and stupid, again.
But I know I'm not helping.

I have moments of feeling secure.
A confident, capable woman.
Me and my 'moments'
Some moments I would love to 'live in'
Some I do my best to avoid.