The Pope

I'm a high powered man of the cloth,
when I get *****, I stick my thing in cold chicken broth.
I can't have ***, I can't have ***,
but sometimes I send an anonymous text.
The Vatican should be called The Vatican't,
sorry for this unfortunate rant.
Not sure how much more I can take,
under my robe is a venomous snake.
People all day like to kiss my ring,
when girls kiss it, it starts to spring.
Having no *** is driving me bad,
going crazy and making me mad.
I can't have ***, I can't have ***,
why did god give me this hex.
Slept with a nun in my ******* last night,
it felt so good and she was so tight.
Whenever a girl smiles or starts to flirt,
under my robe, I begin to squirt.
Sometimes when my ***** get blue,
I kneel down at the nearest pew.
I can't have ***, I can't have ***,
this religion is so **** complex.
I get driven around in this bullet proof trough,
I got the only gun that might go off.
Why did I become a catholic priest,
I'd even take a girl, with infection of yeast.
Last night in bed, I decided to sin,
it was time to rip out the firing pin.
I stroked it once, I stroked it twice,
I must say it felt very nice.
Seconds later out shot my *****,
dripping down my body like a slimy worm.
From this day on, I felt like a new man,
I now do it as often as I can.
Tired of having soap on a rope,
******* it, I'm the ******* pope.
No more underwear under my robe,
hard to tell, next time I'll wanna probe.
I can't have ***, I can't have ***,
cause if I do, god won't sign my checks.