Dear Mr. President,

I don't care about Obamacare that is a ******* up mess.
I don't care about foreign policy or why there are dumb wars.
I want you to fix my life and give me new parents.
My parents are the worst two in the entire galaxy and they need fixing.
I don't have the right tools to fix their messed up lives.
Mom dates men off personals on many sites and sleeps with every one of them.
Dad cheated on mom and left her because she got a few wrinkles on her face.
Mom went nuts and has to prove she's young and can get laid every night.
Dad lives with evil ***** who gave me a sibling I had no idea I had.
Dad's ***** lives for his money in the bank account that was mom and his.
Dad and mom text sext and cyber and write mmmmm a lot.
Mr. President could you please fix my life and my dumb parents?