I take the long way home
just desperate to feel
those butterflies
that I felt leaving your house
rushing to get home
before midnight would
break.

On the way home
my lips would continue
to tingle from each
breath rolling off yours
to seep into my lungs
because you'd give me
extra air to live longer
when only you knew
that I secretly wished
away my last breaths
so I could disappear.

On the way home,
I'd actually turn down
the radio so my mind
could trace over you body
on top of mine
and I would smile
as the moon cast light
through my car.

On the way home,
my chest would continue
to beat to the rhythm
of your blood pumping
because you were my
life support
feeding me breaths
and words that
made my cheeks flush
and my stomach rise
lifting my head too
because I was once buried.

Now, on the way home,
my lips quiver to dodge
myself from yelling out
your name.

Now, on the way home,
I make the radio scream
our melodies so my
mind cannot focus
to retrace the maze
of your body.

Now, on the way home,
my heart struggles
to remember how
to beat in unison
when it used to be pressed
against your chest
and being obsessed with
that force of pressure
keeping me compacted
together so I wouldn't
set fire to my lungs
and melt away forever.

Now, on the way home,
my head refuses to listen
to my stomach
and it turns to face
your house
and I hurt.

Now, on the way home,
my eyes mist
in the presence
of her car in
your driveway
parked where my car
use to sleep at night
when we'd become on
from dusk
till dawn.

Now, on the way home,
I remember back before you,
where I'd fight my breathing
to make it stop
so I could stop forever...
You saved me
from myself,
but now, on the way home,
I cannot turn into your
driveway anymore.