I rushed in my room, collapsed on my bed, and buried my face in my pillow. I screamed. An Inhumane scream. One that echoed in my heart. It hurt. I rolled over, silent tears falling down my face. Then it all came at once. Too many emotions to explain. It felt like there was a rain cloud over my bed, and nothing was ever going to get better.
I'd completely forgotten the razor I hid in my phone case. It had been there so long. It's always with me.
I remembered. Yanked the case off my phone and grabbed it. I stared at it for a little while, tracing the edges.
It kissed my skin. ****, what a lovely release. I thought of her.. Her face came into view, and my thigh was soon a disaster. I leaned over it, crying. Screaming her name into my room. She couldn't hear, why bother? I flung it across the room and pounded my fist against the wood paneled wall. Once, twice, three.. I leaned my head on the wall looking at the ground. I pounded my fist on the wall once more, and crumpled to the ground like a falling autumn leaf. I leaned back against the wall. Buried my head into my knees, and cried even harder.
I needed desperately to clean my mess. So I gathered everything together, and fixed my thigh, maybe I'll get lucky and no one would sit on it this time.
I put in my headphones. Turned the music as loud as it would go, and laid in bed, looking at the ceiling, but only seeing her face..