I can lay
right next to you
and never touch you
I can see you smile
from across the room
without kissing you
I can watch you
leave the room
and resist hugging you goodbye
But sometimes
when I'm next to you
you have to ask me to move away
Because for a few minutes
I let fantasy get confused with reality
and I lean against you during a movie
And it's so warm
your arm and mine, touching
for that minute I'm at peace
But when you ask
of course I make room
Because I don't want you to feel uncomfortable
And if you weren't my friend
I would probably try it
just once, to know what it would be like to kiss you
But ideally,
I'll get over this
and when I am, we'll still be friends
So in the meantime
I try not to think about kissing you
and I only hug you when I have reason to
What I'm saying is
I will do what I can
to keep myself sane and our friendship intact
But just know
that with every look I give
I wish I could give so much more.