it's almost funny how you can control your own thoughts and your own feelings. it's almost funny that it was this easy. but i dont think about this as often anymore because i am so happy. not ecstatic not elated. just happy. i am not eternally sad or mad or frustrated. just happy. i have not bathed myself in ***** water for weeks now and i have used soap in all the right places and made sure my taste buds were scrubbed. i feed myself with respect and i cuddle myself with people who make me laugh so hard i **** myself and they are the ones who make me think how i ever got bad. i reevaluate the things i say i regret doing, and now i do not regret doing or saying or feeling any of those things. they happened for a reason and now i am here. just happy.