I always said I knew you.

The real you, that is.

Not just your hobbies.

Not just your tastes.


I always said I knew you.

The real you, that is.

I knew your thoughts.

I knew your soul.


I always said I knew you.

The real you, that is.

That's why I'm hurt.

And I don't know who to blame.


If I knew you.

The real you, that is.

Did I pretend that you loved me?

Or did I really not know you?


In all the years I've known you,

The real you, that is.

I've known you didn't know me.

I've known you couldn't love me.


In all the years I've known you,

The real you, that is.

I've wanted to be with you.

I've wanted you to be with me.


In all the years I've known you

The real you, that is.

I haven't been able to resist you

Except for just once.





I still had some dignity then.

It seems as though I've lost it.

Somewhere along the way.

I don't blame you for that.

I must have given it away in pieces.

To a few different men.

But it seems to me that you got the last of it.

And I don't know how to get it back again.





After ten long years

of the on again off again sort

I'm done with you.

You've cast me away for the last time.

I should rejoice in my decision to take back my life

yet this void only seems to grow larger




You have done little but hurt me

over all of these years

And somehow I always seem

to go back for more.


I spend months away from you

not taking your calls

avoiding the thing that

always ends up hurting me


And then I begin to answer again

I forgive and try to forget

I say I can't be hurt again

you can't hurt me worse than before

And then it happens again

different method, same result


And again I ignore the calls

claiming that I wont be had again

you apologize and offer the world

over and over and over again


And then I begin it all over again.

So when does it stop?

I know I have to stop it.

I want to stop it.

But why does it still hurt?




After all of this time

after all of this pain

you continue to call

and I continue to ignore

And I continue to cry

because I miss you

and I don't know why.