{vent}..

at very least (on a gut level)
most everyone is thankful
for still breathing in&out;,
i'm just not [i know that now]

so,
"here's to lacking the courage of one's convictions," i suppose..
i'm thankful that...
i haven't killed myself yet.??

why is this not a memorial holiday with like candle light vigils and ****
to honor and show remorse for all the lost lives of loved ones, native americans,
the families ripped apart by nonsense, power strugles and "religious freedom,"
the plagues that were brought to the new world by english
and all the ******, theft and pointless killing of rightful countrymen
and landholders because of racism ignorance and Hate..?

i'm getting away from all the "facebook updates"
and going for a walk now, to try and hold a bit of sanity still.
i'll hopefully find a friend or two and stuff this deep cavern of emptiness and hurt
with turkey and good cheap wine . .

**** this "holiday"