“It’s your fault”
“Stop getting involved”
“You’re a bad friend”
My tear stained cheek hits the pillow
And the night is so silent,
It seems as though even sound has given up.
Guilt turns me into a shadow,
But theres pleasure in being a shadow.
Pretending that you don’t exist
To avoid acting like you do.
A tangible whisper of stars outside
Melancholily weep in the darkness with me.
“You ruin everything”
“No one cares about you”
“You deserve to suffer”
The rain in those moments brings me comfort,
As though the Earth is crying with me.
Silver tears pelting at me, I become broken glass.
Im swallowed in fog as I plead for it to
stop consuming me,
But the endless cloud replies:
“You deserve pain”
And I believe it.
So I open the green box of secrets
Under the bed
And stab myself with them,
Five times:
One
Two
Three
Four
Five.
Until all I feel is
Endless pain.
Im sorry.