#sorry
Your scars arent beautiful,
theres no beauty in hurting yourself
no beauty in blades
no beauty in throwing up your food
no beauty in mascara running from your eyes at 2 am
no beauty in eyes that are dead
nobody will kiss your scars
i'm sorry for that.
May 14, 2014
May 14, 2014 at 7:07 PM UTC
I don't mind if you touch them,
but maybe she did,
I don't care anymore,
to me there just a pair of flesh,
but to her,
they're still innocent,
Mine have lost the specialness in the I want you to touch them,
Now it's met with I don't cares,
For I no longer have what she has,
those first time butterflies like i'm shy when I remove my top,
when it's the first time I show them off to you,
because they're not special anymore,
when a time in my life my brest made me happy,
were I could look in the mirror and feel good about something,
but they became nothing,
so now I look and see nothing but a black canvas of disappointment,
everytime I stare at my reflection,
every time I see my wound,
our wound,
because that's the one that everyone sees,
the rest I made are hidden just for me,
and I wish our wound was like that,
I wish I could totally remember what happened to my breast,
but all I remember was burning right over the year old scar again,
because the pain of remember hurt more then my second burn,
but the first time you were the one to burn me,
and I had hid it so well,
but there came a time where I didn't care,
and I showed it off,
battle scar? call it what you want,
if you wanna grab my **** go for it,
they have gone through worse assault,
if you wanna see them,
it's not going to mean **** to me,
and I am really sorry that thats hows it's been for me,
but it's not my fault my ***** innocence was stolen from me,
because of a *****
with what used to look like the end of one of his cigarettes,
Jun 1, 2015
Jun 1, 2015 at 11:31 PM UTC
one day the rain didn't come
her suicide note read,
i'm sorry i was nothing more than a life of falling
Mar 11, 2016
Mar 11, 2016 at 9:54 AM UTC
"You are pretty"
Don't lie
"Thanks"
"You are smart"
Yeah right liar
"Thanks"
"You are nice"
More lies?
"Thanks"
"You're fun to talk with"
Liar liar pants on fire
"Thanks"
"You're amazing"
Goodbye
"..."
May 28, 2015
May 28, 2015 at 12:13 AM UTC
It just rained
Bullets
Puddles in the streets
Blood
Water falls down
Tears
Mar 14, 2018
Mar 14, 2018 at 5:03 PM UTC
I'm sorry!
for not talking to you all these years.
I don't know the reason,
Maybe because I was disillusioned,
or may be because I misjudged,
and I was imprudent.
But that day when I heard you name,
I couldn't stop myself from talking to you.
I found myself in the memory lane,
and all divergence creating reminiscence.
Tears rolled at the pace of the emergence;
of all memories sweet and bitter.
I made a good decision and talked to you,
never expected you to take it so lightly
as if nothing
ever happened between us,
You are the best brother ever,
but neither I am nor I was a good sister.
I'm sorry!
Aug 6, 2018
Aug 6, 2018 at 11:33 AM UTC
“You’re not good enough”
Is the one sentence you should
Never tell yourself.
Sep 20, 2018
Sep 20, 2018 at 8:00 AM UTC
To the teachers who never really cared and ignored my problems;
To my fellow ***** “misfits”, etc. Who will no doubt receive more abuse upon my passing, as my tormentors will no longer have me to push around;
To those who never cared, never spoke, probably never knew my name;
To the one true friend, whose caring was the only thing that prevented this event from happening sooner;
To the God, if he does exist, who chose to play a cruel, cruel joke on me when he placed me where he did and surrounded me with so many uncaring faces;
What about my teachers? Will they be sorry to see another student become a statistic? Certainly the administration and Principal will mourn, as my death will not reflect well on them as an institution. Well, I apologize for making the statistics for your administration worse. But I don’t expect an apology for the false sympathies of people.
As for my fellow students, those who made a more significant impact on my life, I know better than to expect my tormentors to mourn.
There’s another group I have not yet addressed: those not like me who left me alone. Or should I say ignored me. I appreciate you sparing me any further harassment, but your inaction, your withheld hellos and how are you’s did more hurt than any name calling. Your inaction effectively excluded me from student life, from the human race. You left me isolated and alone, and no words I could say can convey to you the suffering you caused. I could name names, but in doing so, I would do more now for you than you ever did for me in life.
I do not know what awaits me when I get down off this rope. Will there be a void? Or will I come face to face with God? I just don’t care anymore. If you’re anything like your people, I wouldn’t want to know you. You preached to love one another, yet I’ve felt everything except love from Christians. Even if I knew you were different, well, I'd still reject you. You have left your “followers” to treat people like me poorly. You have allowed so many of the people you “love”, including me, to suffer. So you want me to trust you with my life? I don’t want to spend eternity with a careless deity like you, or with the company you keep.
I’m trying to watch TV but I don’t know what I’m watching. It’s so lonely here. I want to sleep but it just won’t come. I’m so tired of hurting and being alone.
I hope that with my death, there'll be a wider awareness for child abuse and the effects it could have on a person. That's the only wish I have right now. A lot of people will be hurt with my passing, disappointed even, or maybe it won't matter. But I'd like to believe, no matter how much of a ****** up person I am, I died for a cause greater and bigger than myself. That's the only consolation that I have right now.
So that’s it. That’s me. Leaving the world to be a better place.
Goodbye - T
© Copyright Tyler Atherton
Sep 23, 2018
Sep 23, 2018 at 6:41 AM UTC
Dear Ex-Best Friend,
Remember all the times we spent together,
everyday started with meeting before classes started because that was the only
time we could talk until lunch,
remember all the times we laughed so hard we cried?
Do you remember all the times we had to hold one another in times of the need
because we thought all we had was each other?
Yeah.. Me too.
We spent all the time in the world texting and calling each other.
Things changed a little since I got a boyfriend,
but I never replaced you.
You always had a special place in my heart, and I think you always knew that.
We drifted apart, like two boats at sea.
You switched back to the school you came from,
and it felt like my life had just sunk.
Suddenly I was all alone in the hallways,
Coming in to school was like hell,
Seeing the spot we used to stand in,
Occupied by another set of best friends,
Or maybe two high school sweethearts- Making out like there's no one around.
It was so lonely without you.
You seemed happier where you were though, and at that time, that was all that mattered to me.
I walked the hallways with a sad, sorrowful look.
Teachers frequently asked if I was sick, or if I needed to lay down.
Suddenly I was that one kid that everyone wanted to pick and beat on. (Again.)
I was incredibly lonely at school, I couldn't even sit with anyone at lunch because I was so hated by so many people for reasons I didn't even know.
Come upon my junior year I got a month and a half into the school year before
I switched to the school that you went to.
I was reunited with my best friend,
Life seemed so good.
I was with my boyfriend, and my bestfriend.
It felt like nothing could stop me from gaining happiness.
You began going through boyfriends,
They would come,
and they would go.
I was put second to all of them.
There were days I was so depressed I didn't function correctly,
and all we would talk about is what you and your boyfriend did the previous night.
I was so happy that you were happy,
but I think I forgot the definition of "Happiness."
Everyday was full of being ignored and having guys' push past me so they could hug you while I sat in the sideline just waiting there, tears filling in my eyes because I realized that I wasn't significant to my best friend any more.
I couldn't help but wonder what I did wrong.
I got tired of feeling this way,
I grew up, and realized that highschool isn't meant for gaining the love and affection of people.
I proceeded to end the friendship because it wasn't making me happy anymore.
I understand that a true friend stays there through everything but in no way, shape, or form did I deserve to be kicked to the curb like a diseased puppy.
It hurt, It hurt like a *****
But ultimately , I'm gonna be okay in the end.
And I hope she ends up okay, too.
But, just be okay without me.
May 25, 2017
May 25, 2017 at 8:30 AM UTC
DEAR SECOND EX BOYFRIEND
Yes I loved you, yes I left you, Yes i broke up with you,
But I didn't stop caring.
I will never stop caring.
I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I broke you,
But i had to find myself to be able to be happy.
I wish you could understand, but you never did,
You never gave me a chance to explain myself,
but we did try and talk after the brake up.
I never showed up because,
I was scared I would fall back in love with you,
Without having found myself.
I still wanted to be your friend,
But i guess I broke you to many times to have that friendship.
We were friends before we were a couple,
We shared the same friends, we were happy,
But my world was falling apart way before we were together,
It was a matter of time until I broke and had to leave you behind.
I was scared for you, and of you.
But if I once loved you, then know, I will always love you.
I'm sorry for braking you and hurting you so much that we are no longer friends.
Sep 16, 2014
Sep 16, 2014 at 4:28 AM UTC
Well, I wish there was a telephone in Heaven.
Oh, how I'd love to talk to my Dad.
I'd tell him that I miss him and I love him,
And I'm sorry for the times we never had.
And I wonder if they'd charge me by the minute,
I wonder if they'd charge me by the mile,
I'd call up that ole Angel operator,
Could I please talk to my Daddy for awhile?
Telephone in Heaven
Well, I wish there was a telephone in Heaven.
Oh, how I'd love to talk to my Grandma.
I tell her that I miss her Sunday cookin,
I haven't ate like that since you went to meet Grandpa.
Well, I wonder if they'd charge me by the minute,
I wonder if they'd charge me by the mile,
I'd call up that ole Angel operator,
Could I please talk to my Grandma for awhile?
Telephone in Heaven
Well, I wish there was a telephone in Heaven.
Oh, how I'd love to talk to the Lord of mine.
I'd tell him that I love him and I'm thankful
For watching over all these loves of mine,
And I know he wouldn't charge me by the minute,
I'm sure he wouldn't charge me by the mile,
I'd call up that ole Angel operater,
And say thank you for this big long distance smile,
Telephone in Heaven.
May 7, 2014
May 7, 2014 at 10:28 PM UTC
Be patient with me
I’m still a work in progress
Somedays I seem put together
But that paint’s not dry just yet
One day I’ll get this right
I’m sorry
Nov 8, 2019
Nov 8, 2019 at 11:05 AM UTC
I don't want to apologize,
but I am sorry.
I understand I can be a bit dramatic sometimes,
and over think every situation.
However, I just wish I could understand how you feel about me.
Maybe I wouldn't hold on to every little thing
if you just gave me a sign that is clear for me to read.
I've never been able to enjoy the company of another,
so I'm not sure how this is suppose to play out.
Don't leave me in the morning
feeling used and forgotten.
However, I find myself waiting by the phone as the evening passes
wondering if I should keep trying.
I'm holding on but I know I deserve something more.
It's been 9 months and it's been hundreds of miles.
Sorry if this sounds selfish,
but I can't wait forever and hold onto nothing
when I know I deserve something more.
I love your company
and in my head, we are happy
because I know you feel the same.
I don't want to sound dramatic,
but just please don't leave me in this haze.
Aug 19, 2018
Aug 19, 2018 at 7:30 PM UTC
your own life was at the edge of chaos
when you centered me
everybody had deserted you
when you were there for me
you could barely stand on you own
when you stood up for me
all you wanted was to be loved
when you gave me love
you were selfless
and I was selfish
I've already lost you
but I hope this sorry finds you.
Jul 22, 2018
Jul 22, 2018 at 12:47 PM UTC
I wish I could grow flowers in your veins so you can at least find a piece of beauty in you.
Aug 18, 2014
Aug 18, 2014 at 10:57 AM UTC
I know you’ve heard these words before
I've said them many times before
I wish that I could use them more
To make things better like before
There was a time these words had meaning
Sheathed in heartfelt cries and feelings
But a shaman who can't heal
Is just a man and nothing more
Like worn-out, old and ***** pennies
Now diluted by the many
There's so many, many pennies
Don't care there's one on my floor
My cries of “wolf” no longer heeded
When these words are truly needed
To the darkness they've receded
Blindly searching for that door
In my chest still beats a heart
While pained regret tears it apart
Can't fix or go back to the start
And you don’t want me anymore
My anger and my finger pointing
Foolishly like I'm anointed
Not the one you are annoyed with
You were wrong; I was so sure
Attentively I listened to you
In-and-out my ears your words flew
Silenced; Gave no value to you
Truth revealed strikes at my core
Awakening I newly have
With gained awareness of how bad
I took for granted what I had
A rolling tide erodes the shore
Alone I sit and think of when
We were not lovers just good friends
Fun times together that we’d spend
And from that my heart starts to soar
Reality then brings me back
Jolts like a sudden heart attack
A deep sharp pain gives me a whack
I scream until my lungs are sore
Can't fix the memories or replace
My nightmares wake me; Teary-faced
Past filled with guilt, shame and disgrace
Start questioning what life is for
Jan 11, 2018
Jan 11, 2018 at 11:33 PM UTC
WELL I APOLOGIZE FOR BEING INSECURE
I APOLOGIZE FOR WISHING TO HEAR SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY FIND HARD TO BELIEVE FFS I KNOW I'M ANNOYING AND I KNOW I'M CLINGY AND I KNOW I CARE WAY TO MUCH ABOUT SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T CARE BACK
I APOLOGIZE FOR HAVING A HEART THE SIZE OF THE MOON
I APOLOGIZE THAT YOU TOOK A SPACE SHIP AND LEFT YOUR MARK ON IT!
I APOLOGIZE FOR WANTING FOR ONCE IN A LONG TIME TO FEEL LIKE SOMEONE ACTUALLY CARES
I APOLOGIZE FOR WANTING TO TALK TO YOU FOR MORE THEN TEN MINUTES
I APOLOGIZE FOR CARING
I APOLOGIZE FOR WANTING TO HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY
I APOLOGIZE FOR HANGING OFF YOUR WORDS BECAUSE I FIND THEM AMAZING
I APOLOGIZE FOR MESSAGING YOU A COUPLE TIMES IN A ROW BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE TAKES THE TIME TO EVEN LOOK INTO MY HEART AND CARE WHAT I THINK
I APOLOGIZE FOR CARING ABOUT YOUR OPINION
I APOLOGIZE FOR WANTING A STRAIGHT ANSWER FOR ONCE INSTEAD OF UP AND DOWN ROLLER COASTER **** WHERE ONE DAY YOU MAKE ME THINK YOU CARE THEN THE NEXT IGNORE ME LIKE IM A ******* BEE IN YOUR EAR.
I APOLOGIZE FOR ALWAYS BEING THE FIRST TO MESSAGE YOU
I APOLOGIZE FOR PRETENDING TO NOT BE HURT WHEN YOU GIVE ME ONE WORD RESPONSES
I APOLOGIZING FOR KNOWING YOU HAVE DEPRESSION AND KNOWING IT SOMETIMES EFFECTS YOU BUT I CANT TAKE NOT KNOWING IF I AM JUST A BOTHER
I APOLOGIZE I NOTICE WHEN YOU DROP AWAY LIKE A BIRD SHOT OFF A TELEPHONE LINE
I APOLOGIZE FOR GIVING A **** AND FEELING LIKE MAYBE JUST ******* MAYBE YOU MIGHT FEEL THE SAME
I APOLOGIZE FOR NOT BEING WHAT YOU WANT
I APOLOGIZE FOR ASSUMING YOU HAVE OTHERS BUT WITH MY PAST HOW COULD I NOT?!?!
I APOLOGIZE FOR SEEING HINT TRACES OF COMPASSION IN YOU THAT MAKES ME FALL HEAD OVER HEELS FOR YOU
I APOLOGIZE FOR NOT BEING OKAY EVERY DAY
I APOLOGIZE FOR NOT ALWAYS KNOWING WHAT TO SAY OR HOW TO SAY WHAT I WANT TO SAY
I APOLOGIZE FOR CARING.
I APOLOGIZE FOR WANTING TO READ MORE INTO YOU
I APOLOGIZE FOR WANTING TO KNOW THE REAL YOU
I APOLOGIZE FOR WANTING TO GET BEHIND YOUR MASK
I APOLOGIZE FOR READING INTO THE SIGNS WRONG BUT THEY LOOK LIKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE.
I APOLOGIZE FOR BEING HUMAN
AND LASTLY
I APOLOGIZE FOR APOLOGIZING FOR WHAT I DIDN'T DO WRONG.
Sep 18, 2014
Sep 18, 2014 at 6:35 PM UTC
Sorry
For texting you, for bugging you,
for annoying you.
for thinking of you day and night.
by being clingy and possessive.
for staying by your side every time you push me away.
Sorry I get worried about you.
for needing your attention,
for being needy to you.
Sorry for loving you.
I'm very sorry... I can't unlove you.
Nov 27, 2015
Nov 27, 2015 at 5:58 PM UTC
Guess what I'm writing about
Deez Nuts!
No seriously,
Not the thought we were going for?
So let's go a little more;
Maybe about the presidential candidate
Or the family jewels on my plate.
I'm trying not to laugh
Or bust a gut.
Maybe I can use Deez Nuts!
To bust in your guts.
Let's just rhyme.
I like big butts
(And I cannot Lie)
Or I might get in a rut
If you play with my nuts
And don't let my kids
Kiss your back or your ****
Or reach those guts.
Sidenote: I'm tan
Like a pharaoh, King Tut
But first,
Get Acquainted with me
Unless you're a ****
Than you're more than welcome
To meet Deez Nuts!
Nov 20, 2015
Nov 20, 2015 at 11:09 AM UTC
you never asked to read my poetry
maybe that was the sign.
i told you i wrote for fun,
you shrugged and moved on.
Dec 22, 2018
Dec 22, 2018 at 8:54 PM UTC
You ask me
If I've considered suicide
Like I'm actually going to answer
Honestly
I mean,
What would I say?
Yeah that's all I think about
Please,
Put me on piles of medicine
So I can be crazy
As well as sad
But let me tell you
I most definitely
Have considered it
I've got the perfect tree picked out
It's got the perfect branch
For hanging yourself
There's a rope already attached
Or if you prefer,
It's easy to climb
You could always just jump
These are two options
But wait,
I've got more
There's a lake out back
It smells bad
But you could definitely still drown
Or better still,
There's a great knife in the kitchen
Really thin blade
But it's super sharp
For minimum pain
And maximum blood
Yet still,
There's more
I've got duct tape in the basement
You could make yourself suffocate
Of course,
You could use your pillow for that
There are the long ways
You could starve yourself
Sleep deprivation
Dehydration
Etcetera
So Mr.
"Psychological Doctor,"
I don't know...
Would you say I've thought about suicide?
Jun 6, 2015
Jun 6, 2015 at 9:01 PM UTC
My suicide is something I've dreamed of for a while.
My suicide scares me because I do not know what is after.
My suicide is something I have attempted many times but failed.
My suicide is going to be a relief.
My suicide is selfish.
My suicide is going to be by blade to my wrist.
My suicide is a thought that soothes me.
My suicide is going to be hard for the people around me.
My suicide will eventually be forgotten.
My suicide seems blissful but horrible at the same time.
I hope my suicide is soon.
Sep 28, 2018
Sep 28, 2018 at 12:10 PM UTC
I am so sorry.
For every time I hurt you..
For every cruel word I’ve ever said to you..
For not seeing what you needed most..
For not being kind to you as much as everyone else..
For every tear you have wasted..
For every time I stepped on your heart..
For every time I didn’t believe in you..
For every time I didn’t listen to you.
I am so sorry.
For ripping you apart..
For destroying the beautiful things in you..
For always making you pay the price..
And I apologise for all the wrongdoings I caused you!
Forgive this fallible human that is you.
I am so sorry.
Sep 21, 2019
Sep 21, 2019 at 8:21 PM UTC
One choice
One decision
A thousand regrets
I am sorry
May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 8:23 PM UTC
You have the prettiest eyes and I'm sorry I made them cry
You always tell me about the story of your childhood,
why you have crooked teeth,
but for me I saw how beautiful that smile was
and I'm sorry if I'm the reason why it fade and turn into frown.
I know you don't like your body but it doesn't matter to me
I saw how beautiful you are when you talk about your passion, your dreams and your goals
I'm sorry if you feel bad about yourself again
You have the biggest heart, it's pure and fragile
And I know it would be an understatement to say sorry for breaking it
As some people are better off as friends before turning into lovers.
Nov 6, 2015
Nov 6, 2015 at 3:56 AM UTC