i was 6 years old
and he told me that
i wouldn't dare tell my mother
about what happened
when she went to sleep

i never understood
why it's called "making love"
when all i ever wanted to do
was crawl into a deep dark pit
and erase my existence
from everyone's memories.

so the second time
my arms were held beside
my shaking body
as i whispered "stop"
into a boys mouth
with hate so heavily
coating his tongue
and teeth
it rubbed off into me
i didn't say a word
in the morning
because that's how i
was raised.

love is a foreign word
to the people like me
who didn't just
lose their virginity.
i threw mine into a well
and never looked back