When luxury is 3 walls,
cement.
Too high to reach, too sheer to climb
Waist high rail with a metal fence
Assuring you don’t,
What?
Jump
Fly
Maybe now I understand.

When release is paper you can’t see
Sitting in the down-
pour with the dark,
wishing you had one person.
One soul there,
In your space that you share

Two others unconnected.
Friendly
But so **** distant, washing
sheets in desperate attempts to quell
all that leaking in your stomach.
In your throat
In your mind
Twisting deeper every night
The uncertainty, the **** sinking in your gut
And you can’t even make it
prose.

Playing god
Playing maker
Playing yourself
Or this self
Who is,
Or is not
The person you are,
Or might be.

Anchorless
Without one to soothe,
one to help you
Remember

That yes
I am.
Yes, there are people
Who would choose me
Over you
At any time.
You don’t even think,
because you don’t know if it’s true anymore
And how could anyone care
Enough about you
To care
To care
To care

About what?

The words steal
themselves from you.
Your mind is blank
You play at poet
Play at person
And you can’t get either right
But in the end
Does it matter
If no one knows you well enough
To see the façade fall