I used to think it was better knowing it all
But you're gone now and I've uncovered all your secrets.
All the darkest that led you to fall.

And now I know that when too much is learned, when too much has been found,
The old days will be yearned, but they'll be too buried beneath the ground.

I've found the drugs, the meds, the prescriptions galore.
I've uncovered all the things hidden behind the closet door.

The drugs were the worst and filled with sorrow.
I wish I had paid enough attention and known you were hollow

I would have traveled the earth and put sunshine in jars
I would have found climbed the sky and stolen stardust from the stars

I would have bottled it up and hand delivered it fast
If I had known you were so wounded and you weren't going to last.

But I was too caught up in myself and you always burned so bright.
How could I have known that August 17th would be your last night?

I keep looking back wondering what I could have changed
But you were the happiest person I knew...

I would have never thought of dark seas and waves deranged.

I would have never thought of monsters and sorrow and silent cries
I would have never imagined all the secrete drug dealings and the lies.

I would have never imagined the oxy, the xanax, the vicodin pills
I'd always seen you as the adventurous boy, the one seeking thrills

I just didn't know that a battle had been struck and a war had been waged.
That the insides of your mind were dark and enraged.

I wish I had known though, so that I could have aided.
So that I could have protected my twin, prevented and persuaded.

Whatever it was, we could have gotten through it.
If I had only known, if I had only seen enough to pursue it.

But I didn't.
So I couldn't.

And there's no going back.

And now there's only one of me. My other half I lack.