I leave a light on in my bedroom
like a stage no one ever comes back to
just a lonely spotlight humming your name
soft as dust in the curtains
they say heartbreak is a knife
but fading is the slow dim of a bulb
No scream, no blood
just the quiet realization
Oh, I am caring less today
and that is how you really leave
My heart dragging in your shadow
I carry you the way showgirls carry glitter
in their hair long after the curtain falls
It gets in everything
even when the music is gone
You are still shining somewhere in me
Love does not explode
It evaporates
it lifts off my skin
in invisible little ghosts
Until one morning I wake up
and there is more air, than you
I do not want that kind of freedom
I do not want a clean empty sky
I want your weight on my chest
your shadow in my doorway
your voice telling me to stay
I am losing faith in your return
Like a prayer that keeps forgetting it's words
but I am not turning out my light
Even if it flickers,
even if it hurts my eyes
Fading means the colors going soft
your brown eyes becoming a memory
your laugh turning into a hum
Fading means you slipping
through my fingers like smoke
But I would rather be faded
i would rather be high on the idea of you
time thick and slow like honey
Me stuck inside the thought of your mouth
sayin my name
I would rather be faded thinking of you
than sober in a world where you are gone
let me blur the edges
let me smear the days together
so I can keep you a little longer
I am not brave enough for forgetting
I am only brave enough for longing
so I stay in this half light
This almost love
This almost you
Even when the feeling gets thinner
even when it starts to slip
I hold it like a dying star
warm and burning and beautiful
in the middle of my chest
Love fading is the cruelest magic
It makes you disappear
While you are still alive
And I am left loving
the echo of your heartbeat
Even as you fade I hold you closer
like smoke in my lungs
like a song that will not end
I stay faded in the doorway of your memory
Half dreaming, half praying
Maybe fading doesn't mean you're gone
Maybe it just means the light is softer
and I sit inside that glow
I will wear you like a beautiful silk dress
fraying, but still beautiful
So you never have to fully leave