I tend to not write while drunk
I tend to try and have fun
But it has become a nightly
Thing
So, I will do my best
Just like I never do
Just like I fall asleep at night
Just like I drink to sleep
Just because it helps me not think
I never help out
I never do anything
Whether that be cleaning the cat litter
Or cleaning up the backyard porch
Or trying to cheer you up
Or cleaning the dishes
Or taking the trash into the front of the house to be picked up
Or trying to better myself
Or doing my best
Or trying to not think of the thoughts that tend to hold me back
Or trying to change the world
Or taking your weight on my shoulders
Or learning about bettering myself
Or trying to think of how to make you happy without killing myself in the process, metaphorically or physically
Or wondering what's wrong with me and why I seem to be losing this race
Or thinking about the point of all this
Or thinking about why things are the way the are, why you tend to be unhappy, why you unintentionally force your mind into my mind
Or wondering why you never say love
Or wondering what I'm going to say at your funeral
Or figuring out why I seem to come up with excuses as to why I am like I am
Or coming to conclusions and epiphanies that'll never stay with me because, I can't and won't and shouldn't and haven't voice or voiced them to anyone, and in the end I'll be in first place, after you of course.