I squeezed ice in my hand until it burned
A pulsing redness filled my palm
And I thought of how I'd never felt this way before
Maybe if I went to church, I could learn to blindly believe
But I'm always lonely, always feeling grief
I can't let it overwhelm me when nothing goes the way I want it to
Because if I let it overwhelm me, nothing will ever go the way I want it to
My eyes are sinking in, leaving dark circles underneath
My lungs are on overflow, words don't make it to my teeth
The more I think, the less I know
Now he's singing on the phone; he might be the death of me
My eyes are filling up, he says the candle burns at both ends
I'm not sure how low I will sink
A scary free fall - yet I still make myself press my ear to the phone
You say you're offbeat, but I take the cake
Another boy I don't love holds my hand and kisses me
Dread is a constant, but I do it, I have to get away from him
I've lost sight of joy and motivation
I need help
And he sings a song about me, and he wrote it, and he says he loves me
But I don't know how to feel about anything ever
The more the truth comes out, the more it feels like a lie
The more I try to get through myself
The more sure I am that I will die