‘Nothing’ —
it started feeling heavy.

I don’t chase people anymore.
I don’t feel hurt anymore.
I don’t have feelings anymore.
I don’t run away from things anymore.
I don’t miss anyone anymore.
I don’t remember anyone anymore.

I am nothing from inside.
But the weight of that nothing
is heavier than all my feelings.
This nothing feels like a pit,
a burnt slap on my heart.

I don’t know how to hold this nothing —
it grows heavier day by day.
I can’t hold it anymore.
I want to drop it
and carry my feelings again,
so the weight in my heart
can wash out through my tears.

This nothing is heavy.
Please, let me carry my feelings back.
This nothing holds everything
yet leaves me empty-handed.
Let me carry my feelings back,
at least I can recognize their shape.

This nothing
sits on my chest
like my finger pressed between two stones…