When i tried to cut for the first time,
it wasn't because i wanted to feel alive.
I cut because i wanted someone to notice and ask if i was okay.
i wanted them to be worried,
i wanted them to see i wasn't as happy or strong as they thought i was.
I wanted love.
The second time was a fail.
I was angry and sad.
i wanted to break through the bulwark that kept my veins safe…
But my skin isn't like paper,it's not easy to cut...so i stopped.
Im a week clean…and im pretty sure im never going to try to cut again…
But that doesn't mean im better…it just means i need to find another way to…give myself pleasure.