I am mesmerized by her beauty
She is everything I am not
She lights up a room when she enters
I envy her ability to captivate
She's so composed
Charming
Clever
Witty

I long to be as sophisticated
As she appears to be
Effortless

I wonder how I am able to so convincingly
Deceive

Why am I not able to deceive myself so easily
My facade is not a reflection of myself
She is everything I cannot bring myself to be