What is it that I have done this time to bring the wrath down upon my head?
The burning hatred in your eyes bright with a fury of unknown deeds or words
In my tiptoeing world of never knowing
What blame is pinned to the chest today?
The paranoid delusions of my unsatisfying life failing you with every action
My unworthiness constantly on display that only you can see

I flinch, I tremble, I beg
I endure the belittling, the threats, the humiliations, the staring through me
The **** on your shoe unable to meet your exacting, delusional demands
My unwillingness to bow down at your majesty, your might and intellectual superiority

With the snap of a finger, the rage dissipates
And contrition follows quickly along
If only I would learn, you wouldn’t have to show me my errors
You love me like no-one else would
I am lucky to have you, but I must not keep stepping out of line for you cannot keep doing this
It is for my own good I’m sure
I just don’t think I know or want to know that
And then it is over and the adrenaline is left to slowly creep out of the system
And I want to cry

Not anymore
Not tonight
Tonight I’m going to be free
Free from the sharp tongue
The threats of a pounding unless I comply
The put downs
The constantly being told I am not good enough
And you are the only one for me

I whisper your name
I need you to stir
I need you to see
To feel the coming apocalypse
No movement, no stirring
Again, a little louder
The voice gentle
A parent waking their child without startle
You mutter in the grogginess of dreams
Once more with the hand caressing the cheek
The eyes they open slowly
With some recognition you smile back, but this is the last time that you will
With the anger and vengeance of all those abused, I raise the hammer and with the power of Thor bring it down into the centre of your forehead with a bone cracking thud
The look you gave after the second blow
The look of a confused little boy wondering what had brought this on was overshadowed by the third and final blow
No more
No more threats
No more shouting
No more abuse
No more placating you so you don’t hurt
No more believing what you say
No more put downs
I am worthy
I am good enough
I am my own person
I am me
(You are no more and I am free)