I surrendered to silence , let it eat me whole. But no one noticed.
I stopped smiling.
I couldn’t eat for days.
I covered my arms.
But no one noticed.
Until i stopped pouring into their cups like i used to.
“Why don’t you talk to me anymore”
“Why are you distancing yourself from us” And it hurts.
It twists the dagger they already stabbed in my chest.
To know that my mother only noticed i was gone when i refused to be her trauma bin.
To know that my father only noticed i was gone when i stopped looking at him like he was a father, like my siblings do.
He couldn’t look at my eyes anymore, because they reflect how ugly he is.
reflect how of a mess i am because he is my blood.
I’ve been vanishing in pieces slowly but no one cared enough to see,
Until it wasn’t in their favor anymore.
I wake up lonely,
i go through the day trying to distract myself from the truth.
The truth that i have no one.
No hands that tap on my shoulder when i cry. No sweet tongue that comforts me when im doubting myself.
No chest i can lie in when im scared.
Im disappearing but maybe that’s how misery is destined to end.