I think that I feel lost
although I don’t have the right.

dad, it’s scary how you think of me.
I might just be a monster for part time,
but I found that all the walls I built
would simply leave me trapped.

I never learned
how to make someone feel loved.
I stumble all over myself
and I still won’t talk.

I love you, but hate
how I can’t get it out.
you don’t know what it’s like
when your words seem to drown
in the waves I never survived,
and the splashes that woke me at night—
like a ship that sailed
but never arrived.

but I’d mean it,
if I could show you my mind.

it would break even anchors to watch it:
your eyes slowly turning to stone.

and I admit I could have delayed this—
but maybe I was simply too young.

now I’m so cold,
but the air is no different,
and somehow there’s so much that’s missing.

as a monster in part time
I hope that some things pass me by.
but look at me, I waited,
I stayed, but it didn’t make anything right.