another poem about fear

to write it all out
helps me cope

I've felt like that a lot this year

and when I talk about it
people tell me I should just let go

but I can't

and I hold my terror close
almost as if it were
a shield

against this storm

that is made
of my words

the stories that I tell myself

not of the things that are
but of the things that could

I tell myself that it's for my own good

that I could only cope
with what might come my way
if I could somehow know

it all

like in a crystal ball
what all lies down the road

where will the sparrows fall
what place is safe to go
where can I grow

where can I go
where I belong
so I don't have to stand alone

and I know
my fear is the storm

and I know

I could let go of it all

if I could only dare
to let go of that hope