I don't mean to delve too far into the past
though sometimes I can't help myself
I remember a time quite long ago
when I was just a little boy
I wore a happy smile and bow
and was still so full of joy
I wasn't afraid of my own shadow
Trauma hadn't yet struck its blow

Then I waved those times goodbye
In exchange for what and why?
My mistakes make me shake
I cannot sleep, I lie awake
All my recent memories are of groaning
not exploring, but preserving

Nowadays I know too much
and do too little, I'm out of touch
bad memories have me petrified
I sleep with one eye open wide
Hand in bowl, spoon to mouth
I eat to make the pain abide
all I want do is hide
but I cannot let this slide