for nine years, you’ve starved me of words, trading syllables for meaning like candy on an elementary school playground. there are thousands of entries now, scraped a to z and in between from the alphabet until it bleeds. but who cares, no big deal. you want more. hours past midnight and the tea in your red mug has gone cold again. lately, you’ve converted to a religion of definitions but i still hear you praying for truth in your sleep. when we walk together, the sky feels more like a region of atmosphere than the basin your sister tried to bury herself in last fall. when they found her crumpled like a lace dress promise under the tree in your yard, you wouldn’t watch the leaves dance for weeks. it think it reminded you too much of the way we play in the tears of clouds every time it rains, when you should be thinking of gravity (noun): the force that attracts a body toward the center of the earth. you see, that’s all it is to you now, words paraded as equations and locked between the pages of your very own bible. but some nights, you are god only over my hands. some nights, we extinguish the candles and leave the words alone, watch them dance like embers from a flaming tree. when you ask me the meaning of love (noun), i draw in a breath but let the words firefly on above me. i do not regret letting them go. i still do not regret you.