I miss my big brother so much I ache. He was the world to me. He cared for me when nobody else was there for me. He taught me things that helped to become who I am today.  I miss our closeness and our days spent just laughing and doing nothing. I miss us talking about everything and nothing. I miss sharing our hopes for the future. I wish I could have some of that back, even for just a moment. He was always supposed to be here, but somebody changed that by taking him away from me forever.

I remember that horrible phone call like it was yesterday. The day that I was told that I would never have you beside me in this journey anymore. I was stunned. How was possible that I would never get to talk to you again?? I spend days in a daze, unbelief, waiting for the phone to ring and hear your voice on the other end. It never happened, and days slowly turned to months and months into years. It has now been over 6 years since I have talked to you in person.

Day by day I think of you, how can all of this be true? I can't believe you're really gone, I still can't accept it, even after so long. Just the thought of you makes me cry, I never even got the chance to say goodbye. I don't know if it will ever get better. You were my brother and I loved you like no other. I would take your place if I had a choice. But now I have to let you rest, although without you my world's a mess. I miss you with all of my heart!