That and these and this and those
And in Spanish it's asombroso
And I just want you to text me first
So that I may practice my drunken verse

I wish it didn't have to be this way
I wish you could understand the things I say
But I've a history of being misunderstood
I'd teach you if I could
But I'm not sure if I should

I just want you to know how I feel
Honestly it's the only way to make it seem real
I've often told people my problem is that I'm emotionally detached
I'm hoping you can help me to take my feelings back

But where have they been?
I guess I don't know
Scattered through so many parts of the globe
Sometimes I feel I've exhausted them all
Way back with my mother when I was still small

Do I bother you?
I can clearly see why
I often delete your number until you reply

There was this one time
With this one guy
Who I once told that he was my best friend in life
He smoked DMT earlier in the night
Of which I refrained because I'd already seen the light

He proceeded to get to drunk
And he's got quite the temper
Then placed his hands around my neck and said something I'll always remember:
"Stop telling me how to think!"
It deeply affected me
And I accepted my fate of being strangled at a party
But then he let up
And I swear I felt let down
And struggled for weeks with the many revelations that I'd found

Am I a monster?
Am I obscene?
I always thought I was nice
But now I know that I'm mean
I can't bear the weight of how it all seems
Can't deal with these feelings
Don't know what they mean
And the worst part is
When he was choking me
I didn't panic
And I didn't scream
Because it was the way I've seen it ending so many times in my dreams
And when he couldn't go through with it,
I swear
I was angry