I've been over you for some time
you enter my mind less often

I find your dark features among strangers
but I still have to find a laugh as perfect

The void you left has been filled with
new friends
drunk nights
and drugs

I still find myself wondering
what we could have been
should have been

"I love you but I'm not in love with you."
which I always refused to believe
and still will

At least I understand now
that you are not ready
for us
or anyone for that matter

"You deserve someone who can treat you like a princess."
because there is something deep down
that you cannot escape

It engulfs your emotions
and suffocates your dreams

I used to dig and dig
try to find it
**** it
and save you

Instead I almost ended up killing myself

because I knew of the love
I felt the love

the energy was there at 3 in the morning
in that empty parking lot
when we looked into one another
and smiled in the silence

when you giggled to yourself and looked at me
and held me in your arms
because you felt "so lucky"

The energy always stays
you can only tuck it away for so long

That energy is when I get a message from you late at night
or the spontaneous phone calls

It just hurts me

because one day you'll realize its not gone
it never left

**but I have