Sit down at the piano
I drop my bag but I can’t drop the feeling of betrayal from hearing her say “he confessed to the FBI”
2. Reach your arms out and form fists like you’re punching the piano right above the keys
As I sat down at the baby grand in the stuffy room down the hall from the church office
I tried to get a good distance away from the keyboard just like Ms Kim taught me because “punching” the piano wasn’t nearly as painful as punching a tree out of frustration
I would know
3. Scoot the bench back so you are sitting in the middle of it with your arms fully extended
There. You should be comfortable. Or as comfortable as you can be with
4. Straighten your back, plant your feet firmly on the floor
Even if you don’t have a firm foundation
5. Slightly bend at the finger joints like you’re carefully holding a water balloon
Or in my case, carefully holding on to the facts that everyone else was denying
Carefully holding the water balloon – what I tell my students, but in that moment I just wanted to crush it and let all the memories spill out
6. place fingers on the keys where you will be playing – one finger on each key
I didn’t know where I should start, so I mixed a minor with an e sharp
The sound of grief flows from my heart through my fingers
7. Step into the mind of a musician
I skip this. My mind is always that of a musician
8. Create beautiful music
Or create music that speaks of all the things you can’t say out loud