That girl spoke of her boyfriend so sweetly. She claimed they were in love with only a week of knowing him. But the way she spoke, it was almost like I could believe her.

And then I look at us, and our relationship. Almost a month now. I think we've been doing well. No serious fights yet, although there are times when we get under each other's skin. But we've been alright. Happy, even.

But love? Do I love you? Do you love me? How would I respond if you said that four lettered word?

Quite frankly, I'm afraid I'd run. I'd hide away to someplace where my feelings could not be confronted. When we hold hands, I feel the warmth of your fingers, but no spark. When I meet your gaze, I see your eyes but feel no connection. When you kiss my lips, it's a dull process and not some heart racing adventure.

I guess what I'm saying is that I want that 'sweep a girl off her feet' moment. The kind there are in books, movies. When I read of the ways another human being can affect your heart, I wait to feel that with you. But it doesn't come. Am I being ignorant? Am I a hopeless romantic looking for something that doesn't exist?

Imagine the guilt I will feel if you tell me you love me and I can't say the same. I wish that not to happen, because even though I don't feel that way yet, I still like you and don't want you hurt.

~Your Kay~