I wanted to kiss you yesterday.
Not because I love you.
Not because I even know you that well.
Not because I'm even sure yet
That I want to know you that well.
Just because I wanted
For once
Not to be the fool, hanging on the coattails of a girl who didn't care.
I wanted not to care.
Watching the smoke curl from your red lips,
I imagined consuming them,
Not bogged down by love or fear or longing,
Just lust,
Just simple.
You could do, you could do it,
Make me forget for a little while
That I am always second best,
That I have no power.
But I didn't kiss you yesterday.
I might have, but I didn't.
I am not raw enough yet,
Still too hopeful and too naive at heart,
Or perhaps too sage, in fact,
To pull the wool over my own eyes and pretend I don't know
That she is the only one
I really want to touch.