I can't afford to look at my future
so I stare off at my surroundings—
she married through prayers and planning
he flirts and dreams while still studying

she married in the name of God
he jokes about vows over coffee
was it my fault my partner was different?
same Allah, but you couldn’t see it

we resented each other, Mom
can’t you see?
you forbade it, so I hid
I pushed you—and Him—away

I found my own meaning
so if we ever have the conversation
fantastic, no longer phantasmic
you’d know why I wouldn’t marry