He's known as College Boy, a young do-gooder with a superior education. What's he doing here? Waiting for the opportunity to put his college-training to the test. But how? By saving us from ourselves. You see, College Boy has a heart that's bigger than the vastness of outer space and he means to use it to rescue men and women who have lost their way. College Boy sounds like an amazing individual. What's he doing now? He's urinating behind that garbage can over there near a large oak tree. Is he married? No. He's a homosexual. That's too bad because I could love him in a non-homosexual way of course. Yes, 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦.