I went out to my car
and pulled out of the
driveway,
my heart beating fast,
usual sick feeling in my stomach.
I needed to see him.
I imagined me pulling up
and knocking on the door.
He opens it and without a
word picks me up
in a hug.
We both say we’re so sorry
and this was so stupid
and we make love on the sofa
and we can’t stop kissing goodbye
when he leaves for work.

But I turned around.

Because that isn’t how it would go.
He doesn’t forgive me.
He doesn’t want to.
So I turned around.