He was a whole **** universe
Of earth-shattering hotness
My remarkably charming heartthrob
The irresistible prince
Of my neon-lit fantasies

I was so gay beyond the endless extremes of logic
So lust-drunk on his thugness
Sweetalicious and magically delicious
His five-star frame was a game-changer

The way he spoke made me float
The way he stood, so ****, so many
So dopenificent to the maximum extent
He knocked my thoughts sideways

I couldn’t think straight
He slayed me in the best way
I was drunk on his luscious greatness
So addicted to his hypnotically saucy body