a string of light through a keyhole
pleasure deadbolted just out of reach
imagining all the ways i'd have you
if it were up to me

but there's more pressing issues at the forefront
and many a underlying problem to address
prospects to chew on and outcomes to juggle
but when it winds down, if there's time to digest

from a pinhole stream to total whiteout
suffocating warmth and utter release
phantasms haunt my prior commitments
posing if i'm truly guilty if it's only in my dreams

the sting in my throat says i am
and the weight in the room screams at me nonstop
begging me to help us both
saying we'd really be better off

but there's the unbearable thought of breaking your heart
of ruining what might just be what i didnt know i needed
but if i feel all of these different things could it even be that
or am i just to jaded and impatient to see it
too numb to feel the love already in my life
too ready to let everything go just for a fun night
i'm too smart to actually do it
but just stupid enough to let it still ruin my life

i don't even know what i want
but i'll circle back to this
everything ******* ***** right now
and there's no such thing as a quick fix
but i'll run the image of you up and down my the back of my mind
and inwardly buckle at your passing cologne
knowing no matter what happens
that i'm only gonna be happy on my own