i sit here in the quiet
in the now
it’s funny i expected betrayal from my own mother
but i never expected it from you
and i still wonder why
what was in it for you?
did you get sick pleasure from watching me rot?
you’ve had no issues calling us out in the past
but in a whole year
twelve months
twelve extricating months
you never told me why
why you took everything away from me
you’ve never had any issues expressing your boundaries
boundaries i helped you uphold beforehand
being excommunicated from my own mother and family
because i knew you were right and i loved you
but you couldn’t tell me
i still can’t make sense of it all
and everything is ruined
the two women i thought i could count on
one of them i expected
the other a snake who slithered behind me and bit
i cant forgive either
and i don't know where to go from here
i’m still lost and cannot find my way
and i know i will never be the person i was
my physical and emotional self forever altered
i’m still getting to know myself but i fear i’ll never